Dating an older man jokes

A very wealthy man wanted to be buried with his money.

He knew that his family wouldn't honor his wishes, so he asked his three best friends, a doctor, a priest, and a lawyer, to make sure that his wishes were carried out when he died.

He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself. What's the difference between government bonds and men? Why is psychoanalysis quicker for men than for women?

Trouble is, the guy who owns him is a quiet, conservative type, and this bird's foul mouth is driving him crazy. What's the difference between a man's wife and his girlfriend? A man walks into a bar and orders a glass of orange. When it's time to go back to childhood, he's got less far to go. What do a clitoris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common?

When the waters reached the mid level of the first floor rescuers in a boat came by to pick up the old man. What is the only time a man thinks about a candlelit dinner?

He waved them away and shouted after them that his faith would see him through. When he got up to heaven he complained to his maker that He had let him down.

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He heard a couple of the locals talking just around the corner so he leaned closer to hear what they were saying. Throwing a banjo into the toilet without hitting the rim. It’s a super-valuable Valentine’s present for you, and I know it can help you get the results you want with women!A first date gives you only an imperfect snapshot of who a person really is.Then just last week, I fell into the duck pond and was like to drown, except this pig jumped in and pulled me out. But tell me, how did he come to have only three legs? The doctor said, "Well at your age you should probably expect some diminishing of your sex drive One guy would shout out, "Number 31" and everyone would howl with laughter. The new guy said, what gives, why didn't anybody laugh? Well, said one old timer, some guys just can't tell a joke. What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man?

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