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I attended one mission training weekend run by an organisation involved solely with the people group I then felt compelled to go to. ” I was asked by the married couple who were to pray with me.One speaker suggested that some in the meeting “were bound in chains” and these chains were limiting their ability to serve God fully. I then began tearfully to tell them of how my heart was in serving God in mission, but I was in love with a man who did not love me and I wished to be free from that so that I could focus on my calling.I had broken off a relationship when I was converted as the man was an unbeliever.
I had been warned by my mother, after speaking out to some of these friends, of the need to take heed in case I also would fall into the same sin.…” My heart sank, but I must say I also felt afraid as if the finger of God was pointing at me. I still don’t know if anyone had told the preacher my situation but I felt so ashamed – but why if he was only a friend?I knew that in my heart he wasn’t, and that I hoped he be converted not just for the Lord but for me.For four years I pretty much mourned the loss of our relationship, and remained convinced that we would one day get back together and marry.I had a real desire to go on mission and had been very involved in trying to prepare myself in different ways for this.