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Harris praises these actions as models of oversight and guidance in courtship.

The crux of Harris’s critique: Dating leads to broken hearts, even if the couple never had sex or even kissed: each surrendered a piece of his or her heart that he or she can never get back.

Harris’s influence expanded thanks to that book, his first.

He spoke at conferences, gave radio and television interviews, and proselytized about the problems of dating and the benefits of courtship, cementing his reputation as a relationships expert A lot has changed since his meteoric rise.

Church and family are the “real life settings” where “we’re much more likely to see who a person really is.” “Though courtship has a serious intent,” Harris writes in “Boy Meets Girl,” “it can be low-pressure and casual when it begins.” (This characterization is unpersuasive considering how involved families and the church community are in the courtship process.) Fathers in particular have a deep role in courtship in Harris’s framework. When a man wants to pursue a woman in courtship, he should first ask her father for permission to court.

Indeed, the woman may be the last person to know of a man’s interest.

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